- Rocco Botte as Frederick Alan Grier
- Derrick Acosta as Alexander Arby Allen
- Shawn Chatfield as Doctor Ass
On Screen Text: The God Of Games. A documentary.
Derrick (Alexander Arby Allen): Do I need to give an introduction? Feel like I don't need an introduction. You go to... any arcade... in the country. 70% of the machines are gonna have my name on it.
On Screen Text: Alexander Arby Allen.
Derrick (Alexander Arby Allen): Alexander Arby Allen. I go by Alley Allen. Some people ask me, Allie is a girl's name, why would you give yourself a girl's name? ...Find a girl that plays video games as well as me. That would be like me... giving birth. Could you imagine that? You can't imagine a better video game player than me. Male or female. Especially female.
On Screen Text: Frederick Alan Grier.
Rocco (Frederick Alan Grier): Hi, I'm, uh, Frederick Alan Grier. See what I do is I play the arcade games and I, at the end, get a high score and put my initials in... and I guess for some reason this is really infuriating ol' triple A over there.
Derrick (Alexander Arby Allen): I know I'm the best video game player in the world. I don't need anybody to tell me that. ...What I do need is everyone else to know it too.
Rocco (Frederick Alan Grier): Uh, he's been calling me, uh, often. About twice a day at this point sometimes more and, he... he leaves messages.
(Rocco listening to Derrick's message.)
On Screen Text: ACTUAL VOICEMAIL
Derrick (Alexander Arby Allen): I heard you were trying to beat my top score, so don't test me. There's the SAT then there's my test, alright. The DIE. You don't wanna take that test.
Rocco (Frederick Alan Grier): I eventually had to block his number, uhh, but, just about the same day that I beat the high score on NFL Blitz I, you know, I start getting instant messages that say 'F*****k. F*******k.', and I have a good idea who that was.
Derrick (Alexander Arby Allen): Everything I say is controversial. I'm like... the war in Iraq. Video games made people more violent? ...Ask Al-Qaeda. 'Cause, Al-Qaeda ain't playin' any video games. ...Maybe Bomberman. Yeah, heh, shut up I'm funny. Jokes aside though, but, seriously. Is Al-Qaeda playing video games?
Rocco(Frederick Alan Grier): Uh, one of my favorite arcade games is a Japanese title Boong-ga B-
(Rocco gets a call from Derrick who is right behind him. He is so near, why didn't go near to Rocco?)
Derrick (Alexander Arby Allen): Nobody cares what your favourite game is! Alright, so, we're making a video here...
(Derrick turns the camera towards himself. Hey! You got your own video.)
Derrick (Alexander Arby Allen): ...Making a video here. With the best video game player in the world. And we got number 2 right here, Freddie. You guys are bein' decent, I'm in a decent mood, Freddie... I'm gonna offer you a chance to take my title. We have an arcade right over there. We can go play some games, whoever gets the high score gets the high score, whoever doesn't... quits video games forever.
Rocco (Frederick Alan Grier): I really- it's not... that big of an impact on my life so I have no problem making that... that wager.
On Screen Text: DEATHMATCH
(As they enter the arcade, Derrick pushes Rocco back so he can enter first. He then proceeds to do some warmups.)
(They finish playing a game and reach the high score list, with AAA at #2. At #1 with 1,049,100 is someone with the initials ASS.)
Rocco (Frederick Alan Grier) and Derrick (Alexander Arby Allan): ASS?!
(Camera wooshes to Shawn in smart attire sitting behind them, holding an apple, with dramatic music playing.)
On Screen Text: DOCTOR ASS
Shawn (Doctor Ass): That's 'Doctor' Ass.
On Screen Text: THE END
On Screen Text: ?