MEGA64 Garrett and Crispy.mp4 snapshot 00.20 -2011.11.06 14.38.35-
Garrett and Crispy
is the first episode of Mega64nimation released on Sep 26, 2011. Garrett tells a story from his childhood and uncomfortable truths are revealed.



GARRETT: One time a friend of mine he put a hundred dollar bill across his penis, and I was gonna go remove it with my mouth, and I got close and then he chickened out. So, but we're not gay. I just wanted a hundred dollars.

ROCCO: Well... that's... debatable. um.

GARRETT: Heh heh heh heh.

DERRICK: Wait wait wait wait.

GARRETT: This guy Crispy, like when we were in junior high.

ROCCO: Crispy?

SHAWN: Is that a real story?

ROCCO: Oh my god.

DERRICK: Garret... you're... you're a faggot!

GARRETT: No! No! it's not!

DERRICK: Why would he have his dick out to begin with!

GARRETT: Because he said 'what would you do for this hundred dollars?' he had a hundred dollar bill

ROCCO: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

GARRETT: and I said "I'll suck your dick" so he took his dick out

ROCCO: Thanks, Crispy.

GARRETT: and he put a hundred dollars over his dick.

DERRICK: You're gay!

GARRETT: Crispy, you remember this.

DERRICK: You're gay!

GARRETT: And I went for it, but then he pulled away, "Nooooo!" he was afraid I was gonna take his money.

DERRICK: I have three letters for you, "U R GAY"

GARRETT: That's, that's words. That's not even letters.

ROCCO: You're still gay.

GARRETT: Whatever. Say what you want. I don't give a fuck.

ROCCO: I ain't care!

GARRETT: I ain't care. I'm secure in my masculinity.

DERRICK: Apparently.

SHAWN: He wants me to marry him.

DERRICK: He's so secure he can suck a dick for money. That's how straight he is.

ROCCO: Yeah.

SHAWN: Wow. That's pretty secure.

DERRICK: Hey, no, no offense to gay people, but if you're gay, I wannna know.

GARRETT: No offense, there's nothing wrong with gays. There's nothing wrong with that. Seinfeld episode. But...

DERRICK: Seinfeld episode. You remember that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry was like "There's nothing wrong with the gays"

SHAWN: I sucked a dick! I'm Jerry Seinfeld!

GARRETT: I didn't suck a dick though...

DERRICK: I wouldn't even grab somebody's dick for a hundred dollars.

GARRETT: HA HA HA. You wouldn't touch a DICK?

DERRICK: Like, no.

GARRETT: What if you have a kid, you're gonna have to like touch his dick?


GARRETT: To like wipe...

ROCCO: Not having a kid. I don't wanna touch his dick.

GARRETT: You have to like wipe... When kids have...

SHAWN: If it's your own kid, it's WAY different.

SHAWN: Time out!

DERRICK: Kids out of the equation, they do stupid shit, kid at a pool take his swim trunks off you see a dick flopping around you just gotta turn your eye to that because he's a little kid, he doesn't know any better. But a grown ass man with his dick hanging out at a pool? That's unacceptable!

GARRETT: Ha ha ha ha

DERRICK: Touching a grown ass man's cock in your hands, getting the, getting the, hand patting, all rubbing that shit? Uh-uh.

GARRETT: No shit.

ROCCO: No this is a serious question. Will you get a boner if a guy, if a guy grabs your dick, do you get? I mean like cause I know when my painus is touched, I do get a boner, but only girls have done that, mom and dad. So rest assured. And...

GARRETT: Ha ha ha ha ha

ROCCO: You know? But a guy's never done that. What if... I mean I'm not interested in guys.

SHAWN: You know, I don't think so

DERRICK: Here's the thing, I wanna say no, but in this situation, I don't know what would happen.

ROCCO: That's blowing my mind, dude! Cause I know that when I do it like I know like it's time to get a boner, if a girl does it, I already have one,

GARRETT: That's why I could never get a

(Scene Missing)

ROCCO: See I told you! I told you!

SHAWN: It happened. It happened.

ROCCO: I told you!

SHAWN: He got one.

GARRETT: It didn't work.

ROCCO: Absolutely failproof.

GARRETT: It didn't work.

ROCCO: You got hard.

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