Metal Gear Rising Rocco Derrick

Rocco Botte and Derrick Acosta

Derrick is confused when Rocco tells him about the latest game in the Metal Gear series.



{Rocco is outside using a PSP when Derrick enters from stage right}

DERRICK: Hey Rocco, what you doing?

ROCCO: Ah. Just playing a little Peace Walker. Getting ready for Metal Gear Rising.

DERRICK: Oh, I can't wait for Metal Gear Rising.

{Derrick begins to remove his belt and unbutton his pants}

DERRICK: It's gonna feel so good on my dick.

ROCCO: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you pulling that out for?

{Derrick stops and puts his pants back on}

DERRICK: Well... Metal Gear Rising, I thought... that's like a metal condom, isn't it?

ROCCO: No! No!

DERRICK: It's not?

ROCCO: No it's not.

DERRICK: Well... No, what's... what's Solid Snake?

ROCCO: Not your penis...

DERRICK: What's Liquid Snake?

ROCCO: Not your penis.

DERRICK: Well then, what is Big Boss?

ROCCO: Not your penis.

DERRICK: OK, but I thought Metal Gear Rising was... they said it was like swordplay.

ROCCO: Yeah, not with penises.

DERRICK: What is the anti tank guided javelin, then?

ROCCO: Not your penis.

DERRICK: Well then what, exactly, is snake eating?

ROCCO: Not what you think it is.

DERRICK: Well then what in the world, does DARPA stand for?

ROCCO: Defense Advanced Research Project Agency.

DERRICK: It's not Dicks Are Really Pleasurable Always?

ROCCO: No no no.



DERRICK: OK, so in four then... the final patriots AI... resurrected by Liquid Ocelot... GW, you remember GW?

ROCCO: Mm-hmm.

DERRICK: It was a giant cylinder...

ROCCO: Not your penis.



DERRICK: OK, So when... when snake is looking at the girly magazines... and he has his back to the camera...

{Derrick makes jerking motions with his right arm.}

DERRICK: and you can see his arm kinda doin some of this... What is THAT?

ROCCO: OK, heh-heh. In that one particular instance, that might be actually penis related, yes.

{Derrick claps his hands}

DERRICK: See, I knew it!

{Derrick stands up and unbuttons his pants again. A censor bar appears over his crotch and begins stretching past Rocco}

DERRICK: Eh! I was right!

ROCCO: Look at this dick.

External LinksEdit

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