The Three E's Are Me is a skit made by Mega64 for Ubisoft to be shown at E3 2006. The skit begins with a black screen baring the title words: "THREE E'S ARE ME - A FILM BY ERIC YVONNE" and quickly switches to a sepia-like backdrop that has flashing images of a full-bearded Derrick Acosta in various positions. The video proceeds to tell a tale about a boy brought up by technology. By the end of skit, it is revealed that "Eric" made the video to acquire admission to E3, but is turned down due to lack of credentials by Rocco who plays a doorman. The video is a blatant example of a selfish person, and someone who thinks they can just waltz into E3 without a problem. It also shows why it pays to register early for E3. To save the hassle of doormen.
- Derrick Acosta as Eric Evan Yvonne
- Rocco Botte as Himself (Doorman)
- Shawn Chatfield as Himself (Random person in line)
Transcript - Eric Yvonne's VideoEdit[A black screen with the words "THREE E'S ARE ME - A FILM BY ERIC YVONNE" in arial bold
[A backdrop of a sepia-like colour is displayed, and various images of Derrick are flashing across it]
Derrick as Eric Yvonne: [in a distant, deity-esque tone]
"This story begins where all good stories begin, where the greatest story began, in the beginning..." [Derrick is holding a screen with the game "187 Ride or Die on it now]
"Man, in his attempt to be like his creator, became in turn, a creaTOR."
[Images of famous persons pop up]
"Theater, Music, Painting, Motion picture."
[They are now consumed by flames from out of nowhere]
"But without a doubt, inarguable-ly, undoubtab-ly..."
[Another 187 Ride or Die image is displayed]
"Man's greatest creation, video games..."
[An image of Shawn, Derrick and friend playing games is shown]
"Can you PLAY a painting?"
[The "Scream" image appears, and is spun down the toilet]
"Of course not. Can you PLAY music?"
[Musical notes appear and fade]
[Musical notes are also spun down, with a flush]
"Can you PLAY a video game? YESSS YOU CANNN..."
[The image "yes you can" in blue appears with another 187 Ride or Die scene]
"My life, I fell out of the womb and there were video games."
[An obscure birth of a full grown Derrick is shown]
"From the moment they took over, I was enslaved to the machine."
[An xbox 360 controller and PS2 controller begin moving across the screen, wrapping around Derrick]
"Was I in control, or merely the controller?"
[He is dragged off screen]
"Did I have a brain, or a computer chip?"
[He is dragged in through the kitchen, behind the fridge, where a static image is displayed with the words "ERIC EVAN YVONNE"
"Eric. Evan. Yvonne." [The Y becomes an E]
"E-E-E...Three-Three-Three...Three E's Are Me...and that's why I, am E3..."
[Derrick is wrestling the controllers off of him and tearing duct tape off of his mouth]
"And that's where you will find me, in MAY."
[A calendar is shown, then the word "FINIS" is displayed, to the background music of "No Pajamas For You" by Slowdraw The Hungry Eskimo.]
[DIRECTED, WRITTEN, FILMED, EDITED BY ERIC E. YVONNE - MUSIC BY JOSHUA JONES - SLOW DRAW THE HUNGRY ESKIMO - PRODUCED BY ERIC E. YVONNE - WORKED ON BY ERIC E. YVONNE - DIRECTED, WRITTEN, FILMED, EDITED BY ERIC E. YVONNE - ERIC E. YVONNE]
Transcript (Part 2) After viewing Eric Yvonne's videoEdit
Rocco: [holding the striped disc] "Yeah, so I don't know, don't quite understand, was this movie supposed to be your form of credentials to get into E3 this year? Or...this..."
Derrick: "Well...uh" [laughs, shrugs, smiles] "Pretty much, yeah."
Rocco: "Okay yeah, well it actually says so in the book, in the guidebook that you're given that we need a copy of a paycheck stub, or a...a...business card...it's a little harder to get into E3 this year, and were just...y'know, I'm sorry"
Derrick: "I-I understand that, I don't know if you're familiar with a certain website called Geocities, you could look me up through Geocities, coolgamerguyx69."
Rocco: [nods] "O-Okay, so then you have a paycheck stub-"
Derrick: "I'm 4-2-0 everyday, so..."
Rocco: "Or...uh...other credent-"
Derrick: "Well, uh...no...not on-"
Rocco: "But see, that's-"
Derrick: "Not on me, but see I do-"
Rocco: "That's kind of a dealbreaker"
Derrick: "Have them. Yeah. Huh...I guess...well...do you think, uhm, maybe I could leave the movie with you, so maybe Nintendo or Sony gets tired, they need a break, they could show this...?"
Rocco: "No, no...totally, yeah." [Picks up the disc]
Derrick: "And, do you have a pen? I could give you my Geocities name..."
Rocco: "I-I think this is enough, so..." [Holds it up] "And be on your way, or find some credentials and you're free to come back." [Motions out the door] "We'll let you- so...go on and - I've got this, so I'm just gonna keep this to myself. In fact..."
[Hands him the back the disc]
Rocco: "I'm gonna actually give that back, because I'm almost positive that we'll never watch that. Again. So..."
Rocco: "Thank you for trying, though... It was good, it was good, and I have sympathy in you, thank you for contributing, everything."
[Camera pans out to show Shawn waiting behind Derrick, and the image below.]
- The image that appears in the shot with Shawn, Derrick and a friend playing games is from Mega64's gallery "Halo 2 Midnight Fiesta" which is one of Mega64's oldest existing galleries, and also one of the smallest galleries featured on the website.
- Halo 2 Midnight Fiesta on Mega64.com. (Shawn's lack of facial hair here is nearly unnerving.)